SORORITY ROW

Despite what many people believe, the art of the remake should be considered just that – an “art. What may seem like a quick “cash grab” to make a few bucks at the cinema is actually no easy task. A properly remade horror movie should do three main things: 1) Expand or improve on the original, 2) add a few new twists and surprises along the way, 3) maintain the integrity of the original film’s vision. Sadly, more often than not, these films fall flat in their attempt. For every excellent remake (like Prom Night, Halloween, or Texas Chainsaw Massacre), there are many substandard efforts (When A Stranger Calls). Such is the case with Sorority Row, a mediocre dumbed-down redo of 1983’s vastly superior The House on Sorority Row.

This 2009 retelling of a sorority house prank going wrong and its cover-up can best be described as I Know What You Did Last Summer laced with T&A. Slapping a “Sorority Row” title on this film is pointless and insulting; it could have easily been named at least 20 different things given its by-the-numbers, formulaic plot. While Sorority Row is certainly not a complete failure, it suffers from some incredibly bad writing and one too many twists at the end.  During this endless climax, I found myself restless and checking the time quite often – not a good sign when my attentiveness during such “classics” as Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator and Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh kept me glued to my seat.

On a positive note, Sorority Row delivers in some key areas: 1) it has a competent, likeable cast,  2) its brisk pacing really adds to the entertainment factor, and 3) some of the deaths are gory and creative (which, let’s be honest, is what most people look for in a film like this). It’s just unfortunate that this remake pales in comparison to the clever, sharp murder-mystery story of the original.

My Score: 5 out of 10